There is no doubt in my mind that the men reading this post about entrepreneur business coaching, are wondering why I singled out women as I talk about money.
Entrepreneur Business Coaching – Women and Money –
Yes, money is a loaded topic in entrepreneur business for both men and women, yet women have some situations that are unique to the cultural messages given to their gender.
Men, I think you’ll find the topic informative and useful.
Women, Let’s dive in.
Money Doesn’t Grow On________________________
Money is the Root of All ________________________
A nice girl cares more about doing good, then making money.
Here’s a funny story – though “funny” is less “ha ha” and more “oh wow”.
I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years. Never have I ever heard a man, while pricing his services or deciding the value of his products, say anything like,
“Well I care about people and just want it to be affordable for everyone.”
“I don’t want my audience to think I’m overcharging.”
“I love to help others and would hate for someone to think I’m all about money , or greedy”
Are you laughing yet? Because these sentences or ones similar are what I hear from women clients often. In fact, in opposition to never hearing thoughts like that from men, I believe I have heard them from almost every woman I have worked with, in one form or another.
Does this mean that men are just callous and don’t really care? Or that they really are only about the bottom line and cost be damned?
I don’t think it means that at all. I think men do care deeply. But I think women carry around so much baggage and so many stories regarding money, that they are confused about money, value, worthiness, altruism and business and how all these pieces should come together.
Money is much more than just Dollars and Cents. In our culture, money has great meaning that has been placed upon it, exalted, contorted and manipulated.
At a base level, money is nothing more than a means for the trading of goods and services. When it became too cumbersome to trade the cow for the chickens, or the bricks for the bread money was created as the intermediary currency to improve the efficiency of straight bartering.
So why is it then that money in our culture means power?
Why do many women grow up concerned about making more money than their spouse/partner?
How indeed did money become something we believe since childhood to be both difficult to accumulate and the “Root of all Evil”?
Isn’t it a curious thing that in the United States, all the altruistic, caring and severely low paying professions are dominated by women. Nursing, Social Work, Teaching, Elder Care.
I’m flabbergasted whenever I delve into this topic, that the MOST important professions involving caring for our health, our children and our parents are devalued in our society. Why are there not more men in those professions? I think it’s because men were taught (often without words – just through experience, media, etc..) that it would be beneath them to work for so little money and women were taught (through the same informational experiences) that caring for others is more important than money.
Isn’t that just crazy?!
In an ideal values based world, don’t you agree that teachers of young children and intensive care nurses and social workers should earn more than say football players or wall street moguls? And yet we are in a catch-22 of sorts, because the messages continue for our children and women continue to have a conflict between caring and self-worthiness and the true value of the work they do.. and round and round we go
Entrepreneur Business Coaching – Women and Money –
So what’s a women entrepreneur to do?
I have a story. In the early 1990’s I was in a Master’s Degree program studying to become a Clinical Social Worker. I was training to work in the field of psychotherapy much like a psychologist, seeing clients privately or within hospitals or mental health facilities.
We had a class with an awesome kick-ass powerful woman professor about setting up our business. I’ll never forget this one things she taught us. She too spoke of the low pay and low perceived value of women dominated professions like social work. She said that it was Up To Us to be the change that must come to our profession by charging what we are worth for our services and not taking no for an answer. She presented graphs and charts showing how much more money, male social worker made for the same exact work. She let us know that they do because they won’t accept the lower pay.
What I learned from Professor Sue Henry is that as women, charging our value and in fact – the value of the outcome of our services to our audience – is not only NOT SELFISH, it is CRUCIAL for the shift that must occur in the perception of women, value and money.
So many women entrepreneurs that I coach hedge and haw around their prices and the value of their time. They are afraid of standing tall and embracing their true worth and in the process they hurt themselves and all other women entrepreneurs too.
Guess what Ladies? You can be caring and wealthy. The work that you do and the impact you make on others has deep deep value. You are the bringer of that value and every time you undercharge, you give your brain a message that you are NOT WORTHY.
I’m not saying you should overcharge either. I’m saying that you deserve to be paid your worth..and your business worth is intimately related to the value of the outcome that your clients and customers receive from your products or services. When your brain gets a signal that you are not worthy – the law of attraction reverberates that signal throughout your environment. You energetically set the stage for money NOT FLOWING for you in your business or your life.
I’m often asked how one determines their fee structure. When you have a hard product that requires manufacturing it’s a much easier formula. But many women entrepreneurs in business offer services or educational products that are harder in some ways to value.
In my Entrepreneur Business coaching programs we go through a deeply illuminating process designed to tease out true value and worth from old filters and stories. I love the “Ah-Ha” reactions that women (and men too!) have from this experience. It is by far on of the most powerfully shifting exercises that I do with both private clients and EBSC members.
Money for Women Entrepreneurs is a heavily loaded topic imbued with stories, messages, experiences and culture since childhood. Digging through all of this in order to get clear – to be powerful – to embrace money as a measure of value and self-love, rather than as just dollars and cents – is crucial for women entrepreneurs to fly high in the success they deserve.
I hope you’ll join me in this discussion by commenting below this post. Much can be learned from each others perceptions and experiences.
Comment below and SHARE this post on social media!
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Ravi Chahar says
WOW! You are rocking.;)
You know after a long time I am reading such type of motivational article relating Men and Women for business. You are right in every business money has its main concern. There are many entrepreneurs in the world but few of them know the real value of hard work.
The statements regarding women and men entrepreneur are worthy to agree with. Like you have mentioned that you have met many clients in your lifetime but the main question arises as if do men clients have so much queries like women? I mean we all are equal the only thing matters is the way of thinking we have regarding anything.
While handling any business or dealing with anyone money budget is the main think to clear. You may be think as if why I am not considering women and men individually? You know I think women are more hard working than men because they not only handle business, they have many things to do apart from their business.
You will fond many working women who care about their children, husband and still have guts to run any business. Its obvious that they will need to be sure before taking any step further.
Thanks for such an extraordinary article.
Hope you are doing great this week.:)
Ravi Chahar recently posted…How To Change WordPress Category Slug And Edit Names?
Deborah Tutnauer says
Good point Ravi!
I think some men might be a bit upset with you saying that women work harder…LOL!
I do agree with you though, even men who work incredibly hard tend to not be also care-taking the kids and the house and the food.
I love my husband dearly. He is a super hard worker and even does most of the cooking in our home.
He also gets to go to work every day and do nothing but his work.
My day goes something like this:
1. Get child ready for school – breakfast and pack lunch
2. Transport child to school bus
3. Check emails while waiting for the bus
4. Clean up breakfast, start laundry, return emails and social media messages
5. Zero-Level Time – My most important tasks for the day
6. Switch laundry, feed cat.
7. Meet with clients on the phone or skype – schedule new appointments
8. Post office and other errands
9. Pick up child from school
10. Transport child to music or dance
11. Prepare dinner
12. Help with homework
13. Put child to bed
14. 2 hours of writing – blogs, my book, plans for the next day
15. Somewhere in their I also fit in exercise and meditation (ideally)
For both women and men, it takes guts and commitment to pursue entrepreneurship!
My hope for this article is to open both genders to thinking about their relationship to money, beyond the dollars and cents!
Thanks for being a fan of my blog Ravi.
You are appreciated.
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Entrepreneur Business Success Club
You have just reminded me about my MBA classes which I took almost 9 years back… 🙂
Yes… In this era of high competition “Value Driven” Business model provides a Long term sustaining power…
people are looking for mare and more value and asking the question “So what?”… When they are getting the answer from the value you provided and that is helping them to solve their problem… You will get a Loyal customer…
What say you?
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Deborah Tutnauer says
I agree wholeheartedly Karamakar, on the mindset of value driven business…
What attracts clients and customers to us is the solution we bring to their pain or problem.
It’s an important topic and creates the platform from which to build our mission, funnels, offers…
I’m curious, what part in my blog post Entrepreneur Business Coaching – Women and Money, inspired you to write about value driven business? It’s a great topic – but wondering how you moved from the blog post to those thoughts? I’m sure it’s obvious to you how they connect, and I’m trying to find the thread. Thanks for replying back and letting me know!
I appreciate you dropping by to share your thoughts.
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Oh Deborah, awesome post and you already know you were speaking to me.
You’re so right, this has been ingrained in our brains all our lives. The money doesn’t grow on trees is something my Mom preached constantly. She grew up in the depression and never knew her worth. She honed that into us and I believed my parents, I thought they knew it all.
Going into the work force it took me years to know my worth so coming online I have no idea why that all went to pot. I guess I don’t feel as knowledgeable in certain areas and even here we’ve been told that you have to go low in order for people to purchase from you. I hear it all the time and since this isn’t my area of expertise I guess I have to believe that what they’re teaching us is the truth.
It’s only been recently that I’ve learned it’s all been bull. I know what these guys are doing behind the scenes and in my mind I would be embarrassed to release some of the junk that they have myself. I’ve bought into it, I’ve gone through it and I’ve asked for my money back because it was crap.
We definitely all need to learn what our worth is and not take no for an answer. We can’t be respected in our field if we don’t respect our own worth.
I know your coaching is fabulous, I’ve had the pleasure of speaking with you on the phone a few times so listen up ladies. You seriously need to check into Deborah’s coaching, it’s top notch.
Thanks Deborah for this message. Just the kick in the butt we all need.
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Deborah Tutnauer says
I so appreciate you Adrienne.
And that story your Mother created for you is a common one.
We carry around so many stories like that, handed down generationally and culturally. I have an image when I think about it, as a person walking down a road on journey carrying their necessary backpack or wheelie luggage. But then tied around their waste and dragging behind on a the rope is a group of old burlap sacks labeled – OLD BAGGAGE!
The problem is, that because we are so used to carrying those sacks, we don’t even realize how much they weigh us down as we move forward in our journey. It takes someone standing on the side of the road, or passing by on their own journey, to say “HEY – Why are you dragging all those old sacks behind you?”
Then we stop and look and are a bit stunned. It is only then we can sit down, untie those burlap sacks and start to sort them out. Much of what is inside will end up in the pile labeled “STORIES THAT NO LONGER SERVE ME” . The rest will be carefully added to the main luggage and fit in neatly.
No one is immune from dragging the burlap sacks..Delineating and letting go of old stories is a lifelong (and very satisfying) process.
So glad you are exploring this my friend, as your worth is quite amazing and you deserve to embrace it!
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Entrepreneur Business Success Club
Carol Jones says
Good morning Deborah,
How interesting is the difference in culture from the USA to Oz.
Men here are just as conscious of pricing as women. Especially young men just starting out because there’s just so much competition in a country as small as Australia.
A young man I met on Twitter started his web design business several years ago by being the cheapest and giving the best service. And he took on all comers just to get established.
Five years later, he’s swamped with work. Has raised his prices. And now picks and chooses.
He’s now so popular, he even has a calendar on his website so new customers can see when they can book him in.
He was better than others when he started. But he had to prove it with credibility. Do the work. Gain the reputation.
Today his website design is still simplicity plus function. Just as he started out. But he not only offers the same service. But has added other services after listening to his customers.
And I think ‘put in the work’ is the operative term. No matter how good you are, you have to do the hard yards to establish a worthy reputation that justifies getting paid ‘what you’re worth’.
He happily put in the work to establish himself. And can now justify his higher prices.
The Australian market is geared to – Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! It was like this when I arrived in Oz from the USA in 1970. And is still the same. You see everywhere ‘cheapest price, best quality’. Which we all know is crap.
85% of the market loves and wants cheap. And they get what they pay for.
There is a small discerning market segment that screams for quality. And this is where I fit in. And people like my website designer friend.
This is the 15% that craves quality. And loves supporting Australian made. But not many businesses can make a living in that top 15%. Their prospects are hard to find. As are mine. And to make life easier (?), they gear themselves for the cheaper end. Which is always competitive on price.
Just thought you might like to know that there are some countries where men and women think alike. And face the same problems as far as pricing is concerned.
In 1994, when we started out with our Fitz Like A Glove™ Ironing Board Cover, we were the most expensive cover in Australia. With no credibility. Nor any reputation to justify our high price. So we looked at it from a customer’s point of view. And asked ourselves what would we expect if we were to buy this cover.
We put a 12 month wear and tear, love it or send it back, no questions asked, full refund, including postage, guarantee on every cover. And extended that to every product we designed.
We were the first company in the world to guarantee an ironing board cover.
Now everyone does it.
But it’s how we got to prove our worth. And 20 years later we have 350,000 discerning customers in 29 countries. And a third of my orders every year are reorders, even though my cover will last on average 3-5 years. And about 15% are referrals.
Regarding our guarantee, we go a step further. At the end of 11 months, we email the customers who purchased 12 months previously to remind them their 12 month guarantee is about to expire and ask them if they’re happy with their purchase. And if their products have lived up to their reputation.
If not, this is the time to tell me. And we’ll fix whatever the problem is.
How many covers do I replace in an average year as a result of that email? Less than 6.
We put our prices up 10% on Thursday. I thought we’d lose some customers.
But we’ve not had one hiccup. Our orders have actually increased a tad bit. I assume we’ve now crossed the divide into being THE most expensive cover online and are seen in a more prestigious light.
It’s always a delight to share a conversation with you, Deborah.
Carol Jones, Ironing Diva
Designers and makers of The Fitz Like A Glove™ Ironing Board Cover And Other Goodies.
Every product is a joy to use. And are made with love and care in RURAL Australia by men and women who have a disability.
Deborah Tutnauer says
Love, Love, Love your story Carol.
I think people will pay for value and customer service. Even in a crowded marketing like Australia, there must be a balance and a self-acknowledgement of worth.
Many who I work with are not selling manufactured products as you are, but instead are selling services or informational products. I think it’s much easier to get your own story and self-worth filters all jumbled into your pricing when the thing that you are setting fees on is yourself.
I have some Australian woman clients and I have had the same money conversations as I’ve had with women in the USA. That being said, I hear what you are saying about cultural differences, and I’m sure its slightly unique in each country or culture.
I appreciate you stopping by my blog Carol. You always have great insight every time we communicate!
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Marcel Spitz says
Very interesting insights Deborah, thanks for sharing.
Nice blog, lots of interesting info here.
Will be back for more.
Enjoy your weekend.
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Awesome insights Deborah!
I think more than anything your observation shows the real power (good or bad) of
the effects of indoctrination!LOL!
If anything gets pounded into someone long enough, they’ll start to be affected by in a major way!
And that applies culturally as well! Your belief system and all that goes with it, doesn’t have to be true! Just believed in order to effective in a negative way!
It sounds like you’ve developed a positive process that can really help anyone that’s open to it, learn to effectively deal with their own self limiting beliefs!
And that’s pretty awesome! Thanks for sharing!
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Deborah Tutnauer says
Welcome to my blog Mark!
I hear what you are saying about indoctrination.
The hard part is so much of our relationship with money (for women in particular), is so deeply ingrained from our earliest childhood. We trusted back then that our parents knew everything, and thus what we learned from them is embedded so deeply in our story, that most cannot see that forest for those trees.
This is where Stories Transformation Coaching is at it’s most powerful. Though I no longer work with psychotherapy clients and only work within the realm of entrepreneur coaching, I still find that narrative can be utilized in the most amazing ways, for illumination and transformation! I love stories -the old ones that must be sent on their way, and new ones that people can learn to create!
I look forward to getting to know you Mark and reading your blog and future comments here.
Be sure to subscribe to receive blog updates!
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Dina Ferrante says
Excellent! Thank you!