Coaching for Women Business Owners can be different than for Men. There is a Feminine Way to Success that is qualitatively unique and yet its something that most business coaches and even most women have no awareness of.
The other night I attended a talk by a very dynamic, skilled and successful coach. His talk was wonderful! He focused on engaging the audience around the topics of stories, excuses and an overall vision for life and business success. I found myself nodding through the majority of his presentation, as those same topics also infuse the coaching I provide to my clients, my writing and my speeches.
The audience was a local women owned business group. They all appeared to be helped and stimulated by the presentation. It clearly opened up some new ways of thinking for some and was even more enlightening for others. The speaker was male. The audience was female. From my perspective as a female business owner and coach, there was a missing piece in the presentation.
I’m not writing to in way criticize the speaker. In fact I thought he was really awesome. I have no idea if in his deeper work with female clients he attends to the uniquely feminine process and journey related to business success. This was only one hour and I know he can end spending multiples more with his clients.
I’m writing instead to ponder the feminine way to success in business. You see, I’ve had three successful business in my career and until recently I disregarded the feminine. I was strong and smart and hard driving. I put on my left brained hat and went to work! I brought logic and intellect, commitment and power to my work. I succeeded financially and developed a fine reputation within my field for each of my endeavors
“What could be wrong with all that?”, you might be asking.
My answer is, in my perception of how to build business I grasped onto the aspects that we usually see – the aspects that are very masculine. In that process I neglected the power of the feminine and a very crucial part of myself. That neglect caused me stress, burnout, overwhelm and in the end it probably cost me business too.
We women business owners are blessed to have another side. We have strong intuition. We have natural rhythms which give us grace and power. We have a brain that listens and understands communication in a different way than men’s brains. We are tuned into the ebb and flow of nature and cycles in a manner that can imbue our business with a balance and a gentle firm power that supports financial success and so much more.
When women do business like men, they can lose a part of themselves in the process. The way men to do business is right for them. Excellent! But as women business owners, we can and should pull into our vision and actions the capable and impressive way we have of being in the world that is uniquely feminine. We must trust it and honor it. We must be grounded and healthy, well nourished and not tired. We must trust our daily rhythms for sleep and our monthly rhythms for times to create and times to turn inward. We must tune into the messages we receive from our bodies and our intuition.
In the early days of “women’s lib” women were chastised for being all of that. The big joke was that a woman could never be President or a CEO, for what would happen when they had PMS or cramps or fell deeply in love with their newborn baby?!!
We now know that women can run companies and countries with no more difficulty than men. In fact I would propose that the world today requires more women in power positions because the masculine dominated culture has brought us to a point of crisis in all aspects of humanity.
From war to hunger to violence to the environment.
Imagine if the feminine has more of a say in how decisions were made on a global level?
But I digress.
From this article I want women business owners to realize that embracing the mighty feminine manner of doing business and honoring their unique way of walking in the world, will be bring financial success and grace and balance and joy.
I’d love to continue this conversation with you, privately or in the comments below!
Coaching both privately and in groups, Deborah is also a speaker, author, event leader and consultant. Creator of the Foundation and Framework Intensive, Question Master and Leader of the Entrepreneur Business Success Club, Deborah has been called an “Architect of Magical Business and Soul Structure”by her clients because she has a powerful ability to perform alchemy, changing passions and dreams into money and time by design.
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thanks Deborah, for the personal awareness and discovery from your many years of professional activity. Great blog for consideration and contemplation. There is also so much to consider about the forms of problem solving, people management and neurobiology which show how differently women resolve conflict and share collaboration. I am fascinated by the different brain centers in each gender which process these executive concerns: most males process conflict and collegial or employee concerns from the TPJ or temporal parietal junction area which focuses on: analyze, fix, alleviate. Most women’s brains respond to business relationship stress, loss or trauma from the MNS or mirror neuron system–the intuitive, feel-with and tend-to others centers of the brain. Each of these responses is an important form of empathy and, of course women and men are capable of both. However, in business practice these unique responses are experienced Very differently by each gender. Thanks for stimulating more thoughtful discussion.
Welcome to my blog Marcie. It is wonderful to see you here and to absorb some of your wisdom. The depth we can explore regarding the differences between genders is vast. I did not know about the specifics of the brain centers you mention, but you can count on the fact that I’ll now go and research it to learn more!
As coaches, mentors, consultants and others helping professionals our ability to truly guide and engender change is tied to our understanding of how our clients think, process, perceive and feel. To leave this understanding out of our own professional growth and work is to do a great disservice to those who trust us to help them find their way.
I hope we can continue this conversation both here in the blog comment thread and within our women business owner community.
Thank you for taking the time to comment Marcie, on this very valuable topic.
Warmly,
Deborah
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Lead With Your Authentic Heart and Good Business Will Follow
Hi Deborah,
I’ve always been a defender of women, because, well, men don’t need it as much LOL!
You know, I once I heard a Ted Talk from a doctor/researcher who was saying how amazed he was at finding out that gender is rarely considered when it comes to diseases tendencies. His founding was that more often than not many trends have to do with no other factor than the gender factor.
So, your article made me think of that.
Jokingly I have often said to my friends there are only two human races, male and female and that’s why we have different bathrooms 🙂
I mean that’s a joke, but there’s always some truth in any joke right?
What I’m saying here is that I totally agree with what you’re saying here, men and women think different and act different in many ways, but YES women can do whatever men do, except maybe lifting heavy furniture 🙂
Great and interesting point.
Sylviane Nuccio recently posted…Life Is A journey Are Your Satisfied With Yours?
You can really make me laugh Sylviane!
Twice in the past 24 hours in fact!
Yes – women can do what men can do – maybe even lifting heavy furniture if that is something they desire.
For me, that difference is not is what but in how. We think and processes information differently. Neither is necessarily better or worse. But honoring the uniqueness of both “species” (LOL) is so important in coaching, business, team building and the like.
I appreciate you taking the time to comment Sylviane!
~Deborah
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Coaching for Women Business Owners – The Feminine Way to Success
Hi Deborah,
You have brought up a great issue and one that I’m always thinking about. Women do have more of an intuition and natural ability to share things on an emotional level. When we are marketing, for instance, we are very strong in our communications because of our intuition and also “approachability.” We are more relaxed.
This is why many companies want to hire women to be their “front end” so to speak because studies in marketing have proven that people are more apt to engage with women then men. I take that and run with it he he.
We can’t do the “high five” and the other male things, but rather our approach in business is more balanced.
Just my opinion! I’ve been running my own businesses for years as you know. Love that you brought up this topic!
-Donna
Donna Merrill recently posted…Are You Reaching Your Goals?
I agree with you Donna.
It’s not only what women do differently in business in the world that I think is so important to focus on, but how women do business within themselves.
In the talk I am presenting this month at Colgate University, I will be speaking about how women have erroneously thought they had to be “like men” in order to step into the working world and be successful. In the early Women’s Lib days, women even dressed like men, in suits with little bow tie things! They felt they had to give up their natural gifts and rhythms in order to compete in a man’s world.
The pendulum now is swinging back to a place where women and society are understanding that business and success can happen in a uniquely feminine way – still strong – still powerful – but without the necessity of negating the grace and intuition and natural rhythms and requirements that women have.
Thanks for stopping by to share your thoughts Donna. As always you are very appreciated!
~Deborah
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Coaching for Women Business Owners – The Feminine Way to Success
Fantastic article. As a female entrepreneur, this rang so true for me. Disregarding emotional and intuitive skills did not foster more success in my career. It took a while before I realized that my strengths as a whole were not being fully utilized. But when I did, my outlook changed, my presentation changed and my career flourished. I found greater satisfaction both personally and professionally and I made much more meaningful connections with my clients.
Understanding and embracing my different strengths as a woman in business, has brought permanent improvements to the way I communicate and work with clients. I believe both they and I am better for it.
Hello Tamea and welcome to my blog.
I appreciate your thoughts on this most important topic. I think many women have done what you did and what I did in order to “succeed”. Many have hopefully realized that it’s not necessary to disregard emotional and intuitive skills and in fact we are better in so many ways when we do not.
I look forward to getting to know your better Tamea, and will be visiting your blog when I return from my travels.
Warmly,
Deborah
Deborah Tutnauer recently posted…Both-And: The Journey of Mothering and Business Success